I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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