im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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