I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't turn off my feet"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
