We won't sleep together?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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