Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
