Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
