can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
