do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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