Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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