I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think my moral compass just broke
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
