You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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