I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
