I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
