Need sex. Gaining weight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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