i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This can only be settled by a dance off.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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