I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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