i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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