marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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