A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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