Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
