either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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