coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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