Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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