i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
