I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
