I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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