Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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