It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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