Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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