I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I puked a lego.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
