Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
