dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
