i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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