Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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