this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
