She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
