Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
