i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
