So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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