You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
