In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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