This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
