guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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