he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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