god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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