If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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