I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
