after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
