i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
