Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
tell me about the eggs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
