i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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