I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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