OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
