Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
PANTIES FOUND
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