sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
