is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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