How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize
