is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
