summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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