Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
