I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
