Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
