dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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