I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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