In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
