i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
