I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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