Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
